supposed to get a haircut today but my mom hasnt come to pick me up yet

Guess ill just fucking die then :/

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Evyerone cheer everyone say yaaaay happy birthday!!!!!!!

anyway probably gonna go out today with my dad. even tho its super hot. might die. gootbye everyone

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feelin real hateful as of late

not towards anyone else,, jsut 2 myself :P

blah blah blah girl playing dressup blah blah blah weight blah blah blah cutting blah blah blah

ill probably get over it in a month

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I feel bad, and for once in my selfish fucking life its not for myself

I love my girlfriend so much i just want everything to be perfect for her its so unfair


I wish i knew how to help

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I wanted to update yesterday with this but i was so incredibly tired so sorry, but LOOKLOOKLOOK

Signals made this absolutely amazing art for the birthday of anchorgutz :33 IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY YOUHAVE NO IDEA.

words cant express my joy u have no idea. hgjskgh GUYS!!!!!!!! its so awesome im gonna lose my marbles PLS check out Signals on tumblr and signalings.net (linked aboveeee :3)

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Its been a full 2 years with the site now, and im proud of how far its come since its humble beginnings in 2022 :3

Thank you to everyone following and keeping up with the site, youre all the sweetest, some of your sites even inspire me to update and add to my own!!

On another note, I got into a fight with my friends last night and I said some mean shit. I dont feel bad, I usually dont feel bad, but I recognise it was wrong so I apologised. Im trying to get better at that: apologising even when I dont feel bad

I struggle with low empathy and im not good at seeing other's povs, so Im trying to sort of train myself to do better. Be more social acceptable, if you will

Anyway yea HAPPY 2 YEARS TO ANCHORGUTZ!!! Lets hope for many more good years to come :DD

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Happy pride month all :3 forgot to update earlier whoops

Very excited because theres a Kindou sermon coming up!! All about pride and sharing heritage and such, so im super excited to stream it (and possibly participate if im able)

If anyones interested in checking out the server, with actual info on the sermon, its linked on the Kindou shrine page :3

Anyway ive been addicted to bee swarm simulator and royale high as of late. this might be gods way of telling me im fucking doomed LMAO

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I love my girlfriend soooo much :33 I get to see her today im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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on another note, ive been super bored as of late. Havent gotten properly dressed in 2 days (in pyjamas rn)

Since its summer, i feel as though i have no REAL reason to not get updates out consistently on my comics, so i do want to try and work on that stuff. Its just a little difficult bc my motivation is absolutely in the dumps

Ive been losing a lot of weight recently too so idk whats up with that

guess im dying bye guys!

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im worried about my gf, i love herrr

hhhh anyway yea sorry for not updating. Ive been like. not busy? just bored as hell

Ive been playing royale high a lot and trying to level up, since my gf rlly likes the game and I wanna be able to play it with her :3

So ya lalala thats what im doing!!! also i have cancerous art block rn

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I cant trust anyone why do they hate me i just want them to love me back

i eidh i ihjhgk i hate myself dude im just making everyoens lives harder hwyyyyy its only the first day of summer and im alfeady fucked up in the head

can you tell i fell out of littlespace

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hichat i have 3 exams today (im updatinginstead of doing my edxams)

I am little rn bee tee double you but ts okay cuz im surviving

I want to go on the swing and colour and d o stickers and hug ym girlfriend

bye bye chat love u guys

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hi chat i schizoposted on twitter last night and it was so fun

i need to draw more i feel like death and ive been doing literally nothing UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sChool is almost over so ill be back on my mentally ill summer grind heh

Who is ready for hot girl summer.......... i know i am....... (im the hot girl)

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heh im not in my class cuz im just so evil and bad and evil

yep... im just bad like that...

say hi girlfriend: h-hewwo... im weally... s-shy... >///<... um... s-so many... p-people...

wow! she is never allowed tto type here again.

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idk what im doing dude

i probably fucked up

dont know i dontknow

Icant do this anymore man im either extremely happy or extremely fucked and theres no inbetween

whendo i get a break from this

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hey chat sorry for bieng mental on main heh.

Im normal now trust (im fihting my demons with everything i am. I need to be a ncier person.)

its rlly stormy where i live and im suuuper joyous abt it :3 however i have AP testing today erm good luck 2 me

wanna ask my gf to sleepover on friday but i am scared so idk if iw ill :P

I miss her sm i havent seen her since last friday wghreghghgjsfd

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I want to delete everything and just disappear forever for her sake but i know its just oging to stress her out even more

im trying to tkae my meds everyday im trying to do better

Iwas doing fine for so long what happened

New rule: no venting in the server or to anyone when manic and insane. id rather just kill myself over it than stress anybody out

If i have a psychotic disorder im just killing myself because i dont want to take lithium

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why am i always in a bad mood and im always mean toeveryone for no reason

andlike i dont care just go die i dont even care

everyone pisses me off so bad i shouldjsut kill myself dude theres nothing for me to live for and imjust ruining everyones lives because IM having a bad time

and i make it everyone elses problem and its so awful of me why do i do that

I want everyone dead i hate everybody and even when im supposed to be having fun i find a way to ruin it

School is ending soon and im supposed to be excited to see my girlfriend but instad im being a dick and ranting about my family

If i wasnt so scared of dying i woudlve done it by now because i dont have any reason to want to continue on at this point because i hate everyone and everyone hates me and i deserve it and i dont care

why was i mean to her dude she means the world to me why the fuuuuckwdid i do that for jesus christ

am i abusive i dont even think its healthy for her to be around me man this isnt good for her

I needto fix myself i refuse to ruin this for her

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I am in Georgia


Ok i got 2 take a shower or wahtever bc my parents HATE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh....

Also i got Legend of Everfree in like 1080p it looks SO FGOOD. god. i love that movie sm.

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My dad and my sister want to get a new dog

Lilly can never be replaced. I don't want a new dog

Worse, my dad and my sister want a german shepherd. There's absolutely no way we can care properly for a german shepherd. My sister and I are at school until 3:45 and my parents typically get home around 6.

Its just not healthy for the dog, yknow?? And honestly. I feel like Im not gonna connect with this dog. I feel like im gonna be mean to it

I dunno. I just really dont want a new dog. Im just gonna finish ddao and try and convince my family to hold out on a new pet

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I still feel like shit, but less in the manner of "everyone else is the problem and I should kill myself to escape them" but moreso "I am the problem and I should kill myself to save them"

Im just such a terrible person and im infecting everyone around me

I feel like i get annoyed by everything that people do and im just so mean

I should just slit in the bathtub i dont even think ill ever amount to anythinh

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Love everyone sorry im nto doing well

Im bored and i really dont wanna do my programming work because nothing is working. I dont wanna talk to anyone but my gf

Im not gonna do a full redesign, but im gonna try and implement more pages that I just dont have links to.

I wish i was home so i could lock myself in my room

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I hate having friends its so much work

I wish my site was still like it was in 2022 or whenver i made this shit. I didnt tell any of my friends about it and i could rant and vent here all i want without them ever having to know it was me behind the screen. But now i have to "be nice" or some shit i dunno

I am actively ruining the only good thing I have going for me and I dont know if I care or not

I hate knowing they can function without me because I should be the center of everyones attention no matter what. But at the same time Ill lose my shit if youre nice to me right now because i dont believe you. youre lying to me and I want you dead dont lead me on by pretending you actually care about me and see me as an equal

All my friends hate me so i hate them too. i dont want to be surrounded by people anymore i want to disapear forever and just die

the work in question, by the way, is being a normal human being and having empathy for those who I care about. god forbid!

but at the same time i am so terrified of losing her even though I know im doing this to myself. sheprobably hates me and shes probably lying to me too and I dont wanna live lik this anymoere

Why does everyone hate me whyare they all talking about me i cant do this its so unfairfuckfuck fuck fuck my dad is home i think im gonna lose it

I need to cut them off ebefore they all turn on me i cant do this

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Ohmy god id leave that stupid server if my rles didnt mean the world to me

i need my power its the olny thing keeping me afloat

can my stupid friends just diealready im tired of having to deal with people

they didnt evendo anything i just want out i want out i hate you all i hateoyu>

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Everyone hates me so i want them all dead

youdont have the right to dislike me ihate you all too i ahte you i hate you i hate you

Nobody talk to me or ill slit my wristsand send you pictures

I haetthem i hate them get away from themo h my god

Youre supposed to like me not them

this is so stupid

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Community service after school

hanging ou with girlfrind

I am tired I want her to slepe over but idk if my parents will let her/if she wants to

maybe ill ask or just wait until she sees this

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I have a discord server now if anyone wants 2 join.... heh...

itz linked on the homepage :3 but ill put it here too jus in case lala

click 4 server!!

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You guys should chek out her super awesome website :3

I want to eat a person

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JESUS ITS BEEN 12 DAYS. ANYWAY. I had junior prom on the 13th!! Went with my gf lalala :3

I was granted executive permission to post these (I asked nicely) so here's prom pix !!


I also went w/ my friends Tommy n Ava, I just chose pix without them cuz I forogr to ask if I could post them

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Im so hapy cuz i missed everyone so bad lalala

i get t see my super awesome sauce girlfriend!!!!! and theres a solar eclipse today so im being dismissed FUCK YEA

Anyway my tummy hurts bye bye

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anyway im bored lalallalalalalallalalalalala okay bye chat

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Im alive chat lalalal im gonna see Tommyinnit's how to become a millionaire tour tonite in Atlanta :3

Ill update tmr on how it goes!!!!

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Uhhhh my school is on hold? which means basically we cant leave our classroom or anything. So i SHOULD be in programming rn but instead im still in my world mytho class.

Rumours were that the Lowes across the street got robbed, but my friend works there, and he says it didnt after talking to his manager. Sooooo no idea whats going on but we cant leave ig!

I kinda like missing class and just doing nothing, tbh, its awesome. Im just sitting in here on my computer doing nothing :3

Anyway ill update tmr to let u know im not dead, byeee

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Everything hurts and i feel mental

Ijust want the best for my friends cuz i lvoe them a lot but ifeel like i cant be around them right now

like uhghughuhufhdhsg i deleted discord bc i feel like if i stayed on the app any longer, i wouldve deleted the entire server instead. And they would hate me for that. so idk uhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wish my brain wasnt weird

I took my meds and now my stomach hurts i think everything is bad. I miss my girlfriend but i feel like shit because I know i stressed her out yesterday and i just feel so bad. I neverwant her to feel stressed or worried cuz of me jesus why dnt i think before i say shit>????

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gave my therapist my website (hi!)

do not fear! My posts wont become any less deluded! anyway I have a patreon now pls give me money i want your money GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!

My tummy hurts I am dying of death.... this is my final message... gootbye world...

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Home alone

Gonna be home alone for the next few hours, trying not to be bored and lazy

5oz ughhhhhhhh ok my tummy hurts. gonna watch youtube and maybe play undertale

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YESTERDAY WAS MY FRIEND PIAN'S BIRTHDAYYY Shes 14 now everyne say happy birthday :33

Sorry for not updating in fucking ages im just very busy,, im doing stuff for programming n shit. And im trying to get a lot of art projects done atm. its this whole thing

Anwyay im busy might update later if i can

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Guys i have so much to do and i dont wanna do any of it. Like as im writing this i should be doing a psychoanalysis on Riley from fuckin Inside Out. But no. Im being a nerd and updating my nerdsite instead.

on the bright side, there was a call for webdesign work in my programming class and I get to do it!!!!!!!! Im literally so hyped u have actually no idea. We primarily do circuit python in that class (I do not know any circuit python. I only know how to make shapes n shit.) so when he said "web design" I PERKED UP SO FAST BRO. I was paying zero attention until he said that. Suddenly im rlly fuckin invested

Basically we're making mario kart but irl with robots bc our class hates us and wants us to suffer in code hell. So honestly my plan is so make the site cyuute and force the other kid who volunteered to do all the update work cuz. Man. I got enough on my plate. Im here for the html not for the javascript, thats gay

Also I saw the EMDR therapist for the first time like last week prob. kinda freaked up my weekend. Made me cry. Ill indulge you guys with that story tmr bc this post is already too long and i want to watch youtube

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Im a #wombhater

Anyway I have a screenplay project for world mytho and im prob just gonna write some weird finnotomy shit. lowkey. Or maybe something Crowbar related idk!

Also its raining outside and im joyous cuz i love the rain AND my dad got me a sparkling ice drink and i am absolutely living it up rn. JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

Okay bye fags i have nothing to report on today.

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Ligma BALLS! 🛵

I have a presentation today PROBABLY in prog and i rly dont wanna do it. ugh. Also FSR is meant to update tmr and I havent even finished the one panel I decided to work on (I started yesterday.) So hhh guess we'll see what happens, cuz I wanna try updating consistently again :3


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I miss my gf havent seen hr in like 6 days. almost a WEEK!!! tf. I hate her i hope she dies eye are ell.

She sucks and should die from mono or wahtever she has. UGH!!!

Shes so fake I MSIS HER PLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH.

And my freaking tummy hurts

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ITS LEAP YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Leap year is so cool 2 me tbh, but its also so weird. Idk! I like it its cool. I knew a kid with a birthday on the 29th, and they just let him choose a random date to be his birthday for most of the year. Happy birthday to that kid!! Dont remember his name but he was chill iirc :3

We're looking at Asian mythology in my world mytho class now, also my stomach hurts so fucking bad :,) Also we have to write a scary story and I still havent done that so im gonna get on that, byeee

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I MISS BERK I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!!! She's sick rn and i am so very sad and lonely UGH!!!

Berk feel better soon love u.

I don want her to come to school if shes really really really sick but UGH!!!!!!! im grrrrrr

I just feel very stressed out idk (unrelated.i just am>????) I feel very clingy right now ugh this is so gay and faggy and gay.

Berk feel better soon

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Get to hangout with best friend whom i am dating today. we r gonna watch adventrue time and do work!!!!!!!


i am regressig

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the way i didnt do any of the shit i said i was gonna do when i got home.

Also its president's day so i shoudlny even be here its literally a holiday. why does joe biden want me to kill myslef????????

In all seriousness, i'm being enrolled in EMDR therepy so thats fun. If i get boring, you know why :/ uhghhhhh dude i dont even know what i can tell her, when i do start seeing her, because i was reading the paperwork and shes legally required to report self harm and sexual exploitation/abuse. Like MAN i just want u to cure me. u dont gotta tell my parents all the lore while ur at it.

idk. im worried. we've been trying to get an appointment with her for almost a year now, so, this shit better work or im not gonna be happy

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Tummy hurts might just freaking die. I had the option to skip school with my aunt, but i chose not to bc i hate missing AP psych. Cuz what if i miss osmeting important and then i just die??

And im trying not to turn anything in late this year, so being absent is just gonna fuck that up. My whole family got sick recently, and tbh i think the only reason i made it out alive was sheer willpower to continue going to school

Anyway uhh i have nothing 2 do bc my 3d print is done, i just have to fortify it when i get home and sand it down a bit. Not too big of a deal, really. I dont have a lot else going on today so I kinda wish I skipped. Maybe tmr!!

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Happy valentines day!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY I JUST WANNA STIM MYSELF TO DEATH

Berg got me these 2 cats and theyre so soft i love them theyre sitting on my desk rn :333 and he got me these like chocolate stick things that r SO GOOD. the last time i had these things was like 2016 dude. and i stole them from my mom.


I got her chocolates and a miku figure and a ringpop and a card with Banica drawn on it.!!!! i dont usually even pay attention to valentines day, tody is rlly good tho YIPPEE

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soooooo freaking deluded. sooooo freaking cute abt it tho

I got a 90 and a 93 on my two psych tests YIPPE!!!!! Im a genius guys literally a child prodigy...

uhhh ok tmr is valentines day or something gay like that. I need to go to the store and get something bc im a real one.. Ugh i hate getting gifts bc what if they dont like it bro. what if my gift sucks ASS!!

We live in a flippin society guys. a FLIPPIN society. BUt also I get free food tonite with my friend so that fucks

Ok i have nothing left to say (theresnothing left to saaaaayyy [thats the ending song from fionna and cake]) bye

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Its super rainy and foggy and misty today and im rlly happy

I feel very melancholy but in a cute way, I feel a lil fucked up but in a cute way

I have to take notes for psychology, we have a test tomorrow. I know all the stuff but sitting at my desk and doing work makes me feel powerful. So thats why im waiting to do it at home rather than at school. Now im just killing time while listening to Rio Romeo

I updated the WNGO literature on Toyhouse, i cant link it because toyhouse is blocked on my school pc bc god hates me and wants me dead

Its kiiiinda more personal than the other chapters so keep that in mind when reading, if you do, and do NOT skip the warnings.

On an unrelated note, I saw her today. Its nothing jaw dropping, since we go to the same school, but seeing people interact with her like she isnt like. A crazy terrible person. Is just insane to me. Its not their fault they they dont know her, but shit, it just feels weird

I totally miss her tho

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I love my gf :3

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Hey guys. I am currently waiting six hours for Yandere simulator to install. Big game for big boy like me. im so happeh i love kpop. this is berk hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ^_^ :3 :o

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Theres something so sickeningly sweet about putting a string of words together in your head and writing them down, even if you don't really know what it means

I kind of want to make a new html for some of my writing. I mostly write essays and opinion pieces, but i think it could be fun to post some of my poetry on here, if you guys like that stuff

Im not the biggest fan of poetic analysis myself, as i dont enjoy having to pull apart the seams of someone's work, but I like writing it. I dunno, its weird. I think i turn more towards poetry because its like writing lyrics, but without having to think about the harmonies and melodies n shit.

You think poetry takes a lot of brain power, but it shouldnt, like, it should just be something inate. something you already know but havent found the words for yet. Does that make sense??

I was thinking a lot about this last night, idk, maybe the worms are eating away at my brains

I think ill make the html :3

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ught theres a pep rally today gonna KMS!!!!!!!!!!!

I brought my headphones so i dont die of autism bc id rather just die of cancer. sryt hat is so insensitive wtf. Ive been so mean lately bro i just feel horrendous

Like i vented yestrday and just said i hated everyone and wanted all my friends dead??? like fucking wHAT i love them so much why would i say that??

I didnt mean it, but i hate thining that cuz ugrfhsja i just feel so bad and i say words ugh. i love my fridns i lovoe you guys

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uhhhhhokay. not a lot to update on tbh but ill see what i can do

Been doing a lot of photowork recently. As in, using photos i took to draw/create art with. Its something ive been pretty interested in, honestly, id like to get better at photography to improve the quality of my photos

I take pix just about everytime we go out now, so that i have stuff to use later on. Cuz a few months ago I ran out of photos so I wasnt sure what to do-

I have world mytho homework but lowkey,, im not feeling it. I just dont wanna, if im being so fr.

Itz nothing hard i just dont wanna xP

I posted sum mentally ill art on deviantart and ppl keep asking if im okay. Ya im fine. Dont worry. Its just a vent piece abt some stuff im working thru still. Old stuff, for the most part

I shouldnt have posted it. I hate people knowing that part about me. But at the same time I like that they care

Maybe im just really selfish. is that okay to admit??

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Putting on a puppet show for my class

later tho

we are recreating a taino legend about the bat

dont have much to say, bye

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hey divaaaaa

just arrived at the slaytion

Bout to hotbox the stall and shit on the mothertoilet!

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I deleted another account. I believe in full internet transparency, but if I didnt delete it, i wouldnt be able to start the recovery journey :,)

I feel free now, idk. Im really proud. Like i said, doing a full detox from my phone this weekend, only thing ill do online prob is just play COTL and stream Fionna and Cake for my friends. Im not feeling good and ughhh

My scars have gotten to the point where i can start to see them again. They usually fade away and then come back. urghhhhhh im not ready for this right now. i dont need reminders dude i feel like shit

sooooooooooooo yea thats all i got for today. im not even mad or sad or anxious. I just feel like nothing. Byeee

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I am in a shitty mindset and i am not feeling good. I reinstalled reddit last night just to vent on my burner and now freaks are dming me urgh. fuuuuck hate my life guys I HATE IT ALLLLL

On the bright side. uh. idk i dont actually have anything ermmm. I cant focus and i have to do my world mytho project by tomorrow bc i dont even know when its due, tbh.

Im gonna personalise the slides with my own art, if its cute enough maybe ill post an edited version here (by edited i mean it wont show my deadname)

Anyway I think im gonna do a full detox from my phone this weekend. Not from the internet, bc thats how i talk to my friends on weekends, but just from my phone. And I might make myself regress, and being on my phone when i regress sucks ass

thats all i got for now, love u babes :3

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I have to measure our LED board thing so I can make a casing for it. Maybe. Idk ive never done 3d printing before. sigh :/

Ill have to ask the dude in my class to borrow the LEDs so i can measure it properly. URHGHGHF im so anxious ive never done printing before GOD.

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My ribs hurt so bad urhgurhgush...... Im wearing my binder for the first time in like. A week, actually, cuz the last time I worse it was on the 10th. I havent worn it since bc I wore it for like 6 hours more than I had expected to and it really started to hurt.

I guess ive not fully recovered tho? because jesus christ im hurting really bad. I might just take it off, tbh. I dont have an extra top tho ermmm idk. Maybe ill tough it out just until I get home.

Im NOT feeling like permanent rib damage tho so idk

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I was genuinely so tired last night, i wasnt sure if id actually be able to finish the comic update. But luckily i was able to cram last minute and update at around 10pm!!

Had to update from my phone because I was just so tired,, didnt wanna get up and get my pc just for a few lines of code :,) Anywya hope we fuck with the update, I plan to start working on the next one tonite

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Its my abuela's birthday today so everyone say happy birthday!!!!!

Im actually working on my comic again (bet u forgot abt fsr.. its ok cuz so did i HELP) so expect an update TODAY. THATS RIGHT. IM UPDATING TODAY. WOOO

So excited to get this update out because i feel awful that ive been procrastinating on it for ages. Its mostly filler, if im being so honest, but I just really need to get back into the flow of it. Plus ive gotten most my school work squared away so ive got time

I need 2 make a card for my abuela so thats my priority once i get home, but after that, im hard workin on the last bit of colouring for the next panel. Then im immediately drafting the next update so i dont get behind again. Sorry for the 3 month hiatus, like, genuinely. I hate getting off schedule and i hate keeping people waiting.

Thats abt all i got for 2day, gonna finish my python work and then maybe surf the melonland forum/read crow cillers for a bit. byeee

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sorry the other post ended so abruptly erm i had to shut my computer and I just finished the update today LMAOO i forgot was i was gonna say so I just ended it


Im currently sitting on the couch listening to spotify on the tv, laying in a SUPER SOFT Bluey blanket I got from los tres reyes!!! I also got a MBIKMB canvas poster and a sketchbook :3

My dad wants me to do chores, so im doing my schoolwork instead to buy some time for myself (I dont wanna chore.)

Oki thats all byebye babes love u guys

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guys i didnt overdose we are alive and thriving.

I had 2 do a programming presentation today ughhheh and i had to carry the team. I did all the talking bro it was so scary idec. Okay uhm bye

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bro isteh second day of school and im already tweaking hfcuk help me dude.

LIKE JESSSSUSSSSS MANNNNN my hands r shaking s bad and im like. DUDE. DUUUDE im so fidgety and like like DUDE.

Im not on crack im just very caffinated GHFJEGAD DUDE. 250 MG OF CAFFINE IS IN MY BODY RN IM DYING

I looked it up so imnot like. overdosing.t but im gonna be rlly anxious and have headaches and stomach aches and shitlike that so YEA. IM SO HYPER RN GUYS PLEAJSKHEFGFKJ Bye!!!!!!!!! I have comp programming work to do and imso excited :33

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WOO BACK AT SCHOOL!!! Im in computer programming 2 rn. we arent rlly doing much since its the first day,, so im reading crow cillers in class CUZ THEY UNBLOCKED IT AGAIN!!

It was blocked sometime in november so this is a total fuckin win. Im on a desktop (dell) for comp programming, and this keyboard sucks ass. so y typingmight be supepr bad whn i update from here. Im not used to such a skwewed keyboared- all the letters are on the left side

I havent done python in a while so im lowkey nxious,, but its chill i got it

ok backt o class bye im hungry

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Happy New Years babes :3

Wishing you all the greatest <3

I know this isnt the happiest update I could bring. But im in a bit of a weird mood right now. I mentioned this before, but my dog, Lilly, was pretty sick. We ended up having to put her down on the 29th,, so yea.

I guess im not really thinking about it. In the sense that, im not really processing it properly, but yea. Just thought I should update with that

Here's some pix of her that I took during her last morning with us.