Boys Don't Cry (1999) - 8/10 - 12.1.2025

This film was incredibly moving and really heavy. I can't say I enjoyed it because the content itself is not to be enjoyed, but it was really well made. "Well if it's so good why is it an 8/10?" God. So:

"Boys Don't Cry" is a biopic about Brandon Teena, a trans man who was the victim of a brutal hate crime which I am choosing not to get into with detail. If you'd like to learn more, I recommend looking into "The Brandon Teena Story" which is a much more realistic and true-to-life take on his story. HUGE trigger warning for transphobia, graphic violence, and sexual abuse. With all that being said, I do not think that the movie works as a biopic. It leaves out a lot of key details, such as a black disabled man that Brandon Teena was living with who was killed as well, and tends to romanticize the end of the story by trying to make people seem better than they were. The film was actually the subject of a defamation lawsuit BECAUSE a woman who had a relationship with Brandon complained that they were shown to be accepting of him after finding out he was trans. Fucking mental by the way, considering the movie was basically making her "the good guy."

I've seen people say the movie paints Brandon as a confused girl/lesbian, but I really don't agree. Honestly, it's made very obvious that he identifies as male for his own comfort. That's really the only take on the movie that I don't agree with. Generally, most other negative takes are true/valid. Another opinion is that they should've had a trans actor play Brandon, because he was played by a cis woman in the movie. I think having a trans actor would have been great, or as least a cis dude, but I can also see why someone wouldn't want to play the character of a hate crime victim. Especially in such a climate. Man I'd be fucking terrified that I'm next. For what it's worth, I think Hilary Swank did a good job of portraying the CHARACTER that she was given. I won't say anything to her portrayal of the person because obviously I didn't know him. That all being said, the movie is a product of its time and it shows. However, it was still groundbreaking for the 90s and did a lot in terms of showcasing the shit people have to go through just to be themselves.

So that's all why the points got decked off, but in the lense of an independent film, it's a pretty good movie. I honestly prefer to see it as a standalone because of the discrepancies. I think it would work better as its own story rather than a retelling. It COULD have worked as a biopic if it were more accurate, but alas, it was not. It gains some points back for being absolutely devastating and ruining my week when I watched it. It's one of those movies you watch once and never again, because I don't think I could survive a second watch through.

DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE TO YOUNG TRANS BOYS YOU WILL SCARE THEM SHITLESS. I've heard people talk about how this movie was used by their own family to fearmonger them post coming out as trans, which is evil by the way, why don't we change the system instead of scaring the person??? Good movie, bad biopic, lots of weird history. 8/10 is my rating.

Jacob's Ladder (1990) - 11/10 - 11.20.2025

You may think I am lenient with my 10/10s but trust me this movie is really good

I feel like it's a bit underrated, honestly. It's the kind of film that I'd expect to be a Tumblr cult classic, but in reality I don't see too much about it. My dad introduced it to me when we were talking about horror films. I mentioned wanting to get into more horror, but not really being big on shock/slasher films. Imo they feel incredibly lazy and pointless, it just doesn't do it for me. Anyway, I expressed an interest in more psychological-based horror and my dad said we should watch Jacob's Ladder. Best decision of my adult life so far.

Jacob's Ladder follows the titular Jacob post-Vietnam war. You watch him readjust to civilian life while supposedly struggling with PTSD and the loss of his son. When he and his war buddies start to realize something was gravely wrong during the war, slowly driving them crazy, they are silenced. Jacob eventually discovers that his platoon was subjected to chemical testing by the US government, by means of one of the chemists who worked on the drug itself.

The storytelling is really erratic but that serves the movie well, it feels all over the place, like you're just as confused as Jacob. I think for the majority of the movie it's relatively hard to figure out what's real and what's a dream, but by the 3/4ths point I started to get it down. The movie sort've tricks you in that way. The opening scene is Jacob in action, his platoon hanging out and laughing until they are suddenly all falling sick, hurled over and screaming in agony for some unknown reason. There's fighting but you don't see the attackers, it's just straight chaos. With the opening scene being obviously implemented as a flashback, when you cut to the next scene of Jacob riding the train and going home to a girl, you kind of assume that you're back in reality. However, throughout the movie more scenes pop up where it's unclear what time you're in. Is this before the war or after, when did Jacob end up splitting with his wife, when did he move in with Jezebell? This is that erratic storytelling I was talking about. It all becomes clear by the end of the movie what scenes go in what time, but during the fact it's a little difficult to keep track of. Kinda feels crazy

This is just my personal connection to the movie showing through, but Jacob feeling like he's crazy and starting to experience these kinds of delusions and hallucinations really sticks out to me due to my own personal experience. I felt like it was really well portrayed and he was never demonized for experiencing it. He would lash out but honestly that's realistic, I'd freak the fuck out too if I saw demons everywhere trying to tell me that I survived the horrors of the Vietnam war just to be erased from all military records and treated like I'm crazy.

I think there's also a lot of ways to take the end of the movie. At the end, you see that he actually dies in action in a military hospital. Like one of the ones they have out during active duty. I personally choose to see this as an understanding that all the scenes post-war were in his final moments, his last moments of consciousness before death, but I think there are some other ways to read it too. You could see it as his purgatory, something that he's encountering after his death and his stuck with forever. You could see this as a direct result of the drugs, all of the scenes post-war could've been what he was seeing while being affected by the drug with his platoon. Or, he might not have been drugged at all. There was no testing, just a losing battle.

It just feels very flexible, whether that was the intention or not, and I really like that. Gives the viewer a lot to work with in terms of story. Honestly, even though I know he died, I sometimes just like to make up my own little ending where Jacob is alive and well and just has drug-induced psychosis and PTSD but gets help </3 I kinda want him to be happy is that too much to ask..?

So yea, 10/10, I like Jacob's Ladder a bunch. Also Jacob is hot. 11/10 because Jacob's hot.

Romeos (2011) - 10/10 - 11.19.2025

This seems like a good place to start since it's the movie I've watched most recently. Romeos is a 2011 german film about a guy named Lukas being introduced to the local queer scene by his best friend, Ine. He's a stealth trans guy who is pre-op in every sense, but is on T. Being stealth and all, his identity is generally kept a secret from everyone he meets other than Ine, who knew him pre-t. He meets Fabio, local lover/playerboy, and things go on from there.

I think the movie executes its story really well, to me it seems to be more about self-discovery and acceptance within both the main characters rather than it being overtly romantic. I mean, obviously the romance is there too, but that wasn't really center stage in my opinion. Which I prefer, romance isn't always my thing and I think movies can benefit from letting it take backstage every once in a while. Anyway, the writing is really well done. While you follow Lukas throughout the entire movie, some of his interactions with other characters give short glimpses into their lives and feelings. For example, at one point Ine is all torn up about not having anyone to love. It's this build up over the course of multiple scenes, showing Lukas casually ignoring her in favor of himself. Nearing the end of the movie, she sort've blows up at him. She's upset that he's been focusing so much on himself and his identity that he's been neglecting her. And while you also see Lukas' side, since he's been very clearly struggling with housing, planning surgery, and keeping everything a secret, it's still understandable WHY Ine is upset. It doesn't feel outlandish and the buildup was obviously there.

Another thing that really stuck out to me was the final scene, but to get there let me just explain the plot beforehand. By this point, the aformentioned Fabio and Lukas are pretty close. Lots of close encounters, if you will, but nothing explicit. Eventually, Lukas is outed by his little sister (He hits her btw and I can't even hate because I would not be beyond slapping some kid like that omfg. Like it was on PURPOSE CMON.) to Fabio and they kind of fall out. They're still shown to be generally friendly, but not as close as before. Probably because Fabio made it incredibly clear that he isn't into trans folks. He does this by lovingly calling Lukas a tranny. I actually think the casual use of the word is more telling of the times rather than the characters themselves, but it's neither here nor there. Obviously Fabio was still being malicious with his words whether he was actually transphobic or not.

Anyway, he doesn't out Lukas, which may seem like the bare minimum but to me it shows that he really didn't hate the guy, just wasn't understanding, and probably felt like he was being "lied to" in a sense. As time goes on, Fabio and Lukas get closer again and end up hanging out more. I think through all of their interactions it becomes obvious that Fabio is realizing that his attraction to someone can come from more than just their body, as he seems to be pretty comfortable around Lukas. All that build up, seeing his original disdain and then slowly coming around to realize that this makes Lukas no different than before, is what all makes the final scene very important to me. There had been a scene earlier after an issue with Fabio where Lukas and this other dude whose name I forgot were gonna hook up. He tells the guy that he's trans and he just starts being super weird about it. Very fetishy, if you ask me. He tries to grope Lukas which freaks him the fuck out, understandably so, so Lukas kicks him off and leaves. Had to give that context before sharing this last scene or it wouldn't hit as hard, I think.

Lukas and Fabio are being intimate, non-explicit scene but I wouldn't blast it on the TV. Fabio seems to sort've reach towards Lukas in a way where he's obviously not trying to freak him out or be too pushy. "Hey that's the bare minimum" yea I KNOW. Which is why it's fucking devastating that this is the first time in the entire film that Lukas has been seen as a person in a sexual situation rather than just some random. Last scene is Lukas allowing Fabio to take his shirt off, which I just think was really big because it showed that he was willing to open himself up to someone. That he was accepting enough of himself to let someone else in. He wasn't forced to, he was welcomed to. It also clearly shows Fabio changing his understanding of attraction and of Lukas as a whole. It's just very important to me and I don't think I have the proper words to describe it, honestly. I just recommend watching. Movie is not rated but obviously has some more explicit scenes.

Out of the realm of the story, the movie just is a really good representation of ftm transitioning. Lukas is shown to want both top and bottom surgery, which was actually relatively controversial in the 2010s since bottom surgery hadn't been as perfected. But the movie doesn't demonize it at all, Lukas is shown to be confident in the capabilities of the doctors he's reaching out to and doesn't let anyone deter him. He's also never portrayed as a glorified straight girl, other than when Ine comments about not understanding why he'd "go through all this trouble if [he's] just going to like boys", which was immediately shut down by Lukas.

All in all, 10/10, I really like this film and hope to get it on DVD.

First post

Okay. So. Most of this stuff is gonna come from my notes, which were not dated, so I might just rate one movie from my notes per day and just skip out on the original dates entirely. Plus I think that'll give me something to do while I finish up school. Watching too many movies or TV might seem lazy to some people, but for me it takes a lot of effort. So I'm translating that effort into something I really love; my website. I hope that'll make it easier for me to keep my motivation up